What it means to be a mom

So yesterday was another defining moment of motherhood.

The first defining moment for me occurred about a month after I met E. We were driving from Quito to Banos and our taxi driver was going very fast and hitting every bump that there was in the road. All of our tummies were feeling a little queazy, but dear little E's tummy became the queaziest of all. The moment she tossed her cookies and every moment forward, I really felt like her mom. Before then, I felt like I was babysitting someone else's child.

It wasn't until I was comforting and cleaning my child that it really sunk in how I am her mother. It seems weird, but I still get that same intensely warm motherly feeling every time she gets sick and I wonder if it is because it reminds me of that first moment I felt like her mother the first time she was sick.

Yesterday, I was sick. I had a splitting headache, a ball of razor blades in my throat and a body full of muscles resisting movement and reminding me not to try by aching every time I did. But this did not matter as E had school.

The bus picks her up at 7:25. She needs to be tickled awake schooldays, yet gets up fine on her own on weekends, go figure. So, at 6:55am, I got up, tickled her, showed her the clothes I laid out on the chair beside her bed and went back to my room to lie down. Five minutes later, I dragged myself from my bed, went to check on E, who was still not dressed and helped her out. I then gave her half of the sandwich I had made for her snack, her vitamin and some juice and retreated to my room again. Ten minutes later, I helped her brush her teeth, her hair and asked her to put on her shoes, jacket and backpack. I lay down on the couch while putting on my shoes. We made it outside to wait for the bus with a few minutes to spare.

After the bus picked her up, I went back inside and spent the rest of the day in bed. I am still amazed that I managed to get E out the door. And this I believe is another defining moment of motherhood: taking care of your child not just when they are sick but when you are too.