it takes a village

E's allowance was 10 cents today. In all honesty, she was very lucky to get those 10 pennies. Twice this week, her bus driver spoke to my father the first time and myself the second about E not listening when he asked her to remain in her seat until the bus was stopped. Obviously, this is a rule that is meant to keep the children safe. I made a point of supporting the bus driver in front of E to show E that this is a good rule and that she must respect the rules of those who care for her. I often refer to people who look after E as her teachers because beyond school, the teaching keeps on keeping on. Bus driver included. She lost various increments of her allowance for a whole number of infractions of "not listening" throughout the week. Maybe it had something to do with the full moon.

Must still be a full moon, E lost 10 cents off her allowance for next week after getting carried away after brunch with our family and not listening when I asked her to get ready to go. She was totally bummed when I told her that her allowance was now 10 cents less for next week and my baby brother thought that was hilarious. So much so, he encouraged E to "rebel a little as it is only 10 cents." This was confusing to E. Once again, I found myself reminding someone that E must respect her mother and to be told otherwise is encouraging her to be disrespectful. As for how funny it seemed to B, 10 cents may not be a big deal to him, but it represents 10 percent of what she is entitled to every week and it is a pretty big deal to her.

I am glad this came up today as it brought me back to when I first adopted E: parents need to be backed up. To go against something a parent tells their child is counter-intuitive. It not only undermines the parent but all authority. All good preparation for the next child. Currently, this topic speaks to E's ability to respect authority, but for the future child, supporting the parent will serve to foster attachment. I have learned so much with E and so I am hopeful that the relationship with my next child will benefit from the lessons that E has taught me. And it all reminds me of how much I depend on everyone to help me help my child relate to me and the world in which she lives. I am so lucky to be surrounded by people that understand. I love our village! :)