focus on the positive

This morning, when I dropped off E at school, one of the mom's that I frequently say hello to commented that E is so adoreable. It would have been nice if it had just ended there, but no, she wanted to know what was her "mix". I politely told her that E was adopted from South America. The woman commented again on how cute she is and I said thank you. I suppose I was thanking her for the comment, not the question, or maybe more so to end the conversation so that I could get E in to school and away from the inappropriateness of that question. While walking away, I made a point of telling E how pretty she looked today for that mom to make that comment. Focus on the positive.

This is not the first time someone has commented to me about E's skin colour being different from my own. Interestingly, I get it most often from other mothers. Mostly, I am dismissive about the difference and don't delve in to any huge discussion about it. Sometimes I volunteer that E is adopted, sometimes I don't. It depends on how earnestly the question is posed.

When E was 3, I had her in Tumble Time at the local community centre. One of the 3 year old boys asked me why E's skin colour was different than mine. I told him that nobody is the same, everybody is different and that skin colour is allowed to be different between mommies and their children just like hair colour and eye colour can be different too. I didn't mind telling him because he was 3 and needed to know. I guess some grown-ups still need to know too.

I should mention that one of my favourite comments is when someone says that E does not look like me. That's when I say, whether or not they know that she is adopted, "of course she does. She is gorgeous, just like her mom!"